When You're Amoung Friends

As the last few people arrive, Frances Rolander, who started the monthly support group nine years ago, asks people to introduce themselves. Donna and Joe Huser, a couple who are longtime veterans of the group, start. Donna has dermatomyositis, rheumatoid arthritis and a host of other problems stemming from those conditions. Joe began coming to the group meetings with Donna when she was too weak to come on her own, but he quickly found that the meetings helped him immeasurably in understanding what his wife was going through. He's now developed osteoarthritis, which, he likes to joke, he got from the group.

Kathy Barker is a spunky, early-30-something who seems the picture of health except for the splints she wears to support her thumbs, which have been all but destroyed by osteoarthritis. Lisa Kenney, who's there for the first time, was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis seven months ago and is learning how to cope with an illness while raising two young children and running a household. Jeanie Thigpen is recovering from knee surgery and walks with a cane. One hesitant young woman introduces herself only as Ruth.

There's palpable sense of relief in the room, a letting down of the guard. Here, at least, people understand what everyone's been going through. No need for explanations or defending health decisions; no need to worry about pity, or callousness, or faking good cheer. There's just a feeling of being heard, understood and supported by people who have stood in your shoes.
Some may come to the group skeptically, expecting to hear people whining and asking, "why me?" But complaining is not what this group is about... continued- Arthritis Foundation